Dating

March 20, 2011

From a Workshop: SPIRITUAL DATING ADVICE: How to attract and manifest healthy relationships.

1. Have faith that your life partner is out there, and you cannot and will not miss him/her.

2. Feel confident and not desperate. Desperation repels!

3. Drop your agenda and live fully in the now.

4. Remember there is no such thing as rejection, only the wrong fit or incompatibility! It is not about you, so don’t take it personally.

5. Focus on the other person if you feel awkward.

6. Quit sweating every phone call.

7. Be gentle with yourself. You’re learning to open up, and be vulnerable.

8. Give your dates a break, they are feeling as vulnerable and awkward as you.

9. Be aware of “the rubber band affect”!

10. Date with freedom – No strings!

11. Make no assumptions. If in doubt, always ask!

12. Be willing to speak your truth and say no lovingly. (you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do – have sex, smoke or other behaviours)

13. Avoid SMS and emails as the main form of communication. They are only complements to communication, but cannot substitute in person communication.

14. Understand that all love grows gradually. (your grandparents were right)

15. Maintain your other commitments with friends, gym, hobbies, spiritual beliefs and everything else you enjoy doing.

16. Take time to pray, meditate, say affirmations, and listen to your heart and what it is telling you about your relationships, dates, etc.

17. Trust! If you are soul-mates, ultimately nothing will keep you apart!

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DATING: How to end your first date!!

February 23, 2011

Dating is fun, but can be stressful. You worry about what to wear, what to say, what not to say… And then, there’s that uncomfortable moment at the end of the date.

Many a good date has gone suddenly wrong in those last few seconds. Perfectly nice people freeze up, freak out and for some strange reason say and do completely inappropriate things at the end of dates, believe me I know I have been there.

I did some research and what I have seen from my members from The Only Social Club, a personalised matchmaking service for professional singles I compiled some simple, common-sense recommendations so that you can avoid those uncomfortable moments and have a perfect goodbye at the end of your next date.

1. Remember these words, “It was nice meeting you.” If it was an awkward date and you’re not interested in seeing the person again, “It was nice meeting you,” is a graceful way to end your conversation.

2. If you want to see the person again, and go on another date, let them know. You already have each others phone numbers, etc… alternatively, if you feel uncomfortable letting the other person know that you wish to see them again let me know at The Only Social Club. (It is a personalised service)

3. It you don’t want to see the person again, never say, “Let’s do this again, sometime,” or something similar. It leads the other person on. Always treat others the way you would like to be treated.

4. Don’t lead someone on. And please do not agree to another date if your intentions are incorrect and then avoid the person’s phone calls.

5. Keep it light. Leave something for the next date.

 

It definitely takes more than one date to determine if you have chemistry. So, keep an open mind and think about seeing this person again. Remember, if you continue doing the same things you will get the same results.

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The next date has nothing to do with the last date

January 13, 2011

It’s 2011, and if you’re like me, you’ve already made (and broken) your New Years resolution. Hey, I don’t blame you. I hate working out, too. But if you’ve resolved, in the back of your mind, to make this New Years the last dateless one, I can empathize with you.

 

Love is important and by joining The Only Social Club or any dating site, you’ve already taken a valuable first step into making it happen. There’s just one problem. You don’t really believe it’s going to happen. You’ve been hurt too many times before. You’ve spent good money on dating but have nothing to show for it.

 

You’re recent dating experiences read like a rap sheet: Commitment-phobic, picky, boring, emotionally unavailable, narcissist, family issues, issues, etc, etc. You know the deal. And because you’ve had no shortage of dates that made you want to give up entirely, you’ve lost sight of one very important thing:

Take note: The next date has nothing to do with the last date.

 

You can tell when someone’s been hurt before. He/she questions you as if he’s a prosecutor and you’re the witness – all because he doesn’t want to make the same mistake again. Suddenly you’re not on a date; you’re in an interrogation room. It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it’s certainly not effective. So if you’ve been burned, time and again, literally the ONLY thing you can do is to shake the Etch-a-Sketch clean and give each new date the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best and you’ll receive the best. Assume the worst, and well, you’re probably already doing that.

 

Your dating resolution this year shouldn’t only be like going to the gym or learning to salsa dance or redoing your bathroom. All I’m asking you to do is believe that there’s a single person JUST LIKE YOU out there who just hasn’t met you yet. And watch as that person responds to the new, positive you.

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